Happy Birthday to me

September 19, 2021

I believe that every person we encounter in life is a gift to teach us how to love more completely and unconditionally, no matter what they come offering. My life has been about waking up to the gifts from all the angels and guides who have shown up to teach me the lessons I am here to learn to love unconditionally and the past 9 months of my life I have been really learning to trust and listen to myself and I can now see even more clearly how everything, EVERY LITTLE thing is here for me. ALWAYS. Seriously. Everything. It’s just up to me to trust & listen.  

Today is my birthday and I recently reflected in my journal on who I’ve learned what from and how they have shaped who I am today and how I show up in my life and relationships. The list is long and continuing to grow.  Below I share an edited (so it makes sense to you) expert from my journal on one of my very first and most profound teachers.

I grew up the youngest of 4 in a middle class family on the Northwest side of Chicago. My parents were ALL about family. My siblings were 6,7,and 8 years older than me and were in a groove by the time I came along. 

I was the unicorn, black sheep, the unique one. I had a different opinion and saw things differently and because I had a different perspective I often experienced myself as ‘rejected’ when I’d share my thoughts, ideas and opinions. It is also true that I felt loved on many levels, but not always accepted. 

Love in our house was a given. And in this moment, when I think back, I hear my grandfather’s deep chuckle of acceptance saying “Annmarie is independent, she likes to do it her way!” I felt completely seen by him and loved unconditionally. 

I can now see how he was one of my very first teachers of unconditional love and acceptance. Whoa, I think I am just now really seeing that. How is it possible that I have not put that together before?  I’ve always felt close to my grandfather as we spent so much time together and I loved him deeply. I remember him as joyful, open hearted and strong even though he was only 5 foot tall! 

PAUSE…..

As I am writing this I can feel my heart – like a thump in my chest opening and tears starting to pool in the corners of my eyes. When I get still and go back to my grandfather’s energy. I feel such deep joy, acceptance and LOVE. 

He was my first teacher. He taught me what unconditional love FELT like and I am JUST now realizing that!!!  

Longer PAUSE….

Ok I just took a long pause, because I wanted to BE with what I was feeling in my body. There was so much to feel in that moment and I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss a drop because I know that life can sometimes get in the way of actually feeling what is here now. And I let myself feel the sensations in my body as they moved through me.

Then life happened…

I got a text from my daughter asking for me to come up to her room because she was not feeling well. My husband and I chatted about a few family logistics. I re-warmed my tea and met a stranger on text named Michael.  He sent a note earlier this morning saying “Hey Emily, hope you have a great 1st day!” I replied telling him I was not Emily and we ended up in a short and sweet conversation…

So many interruptions. And now I’m back here writing. And while “that” moment is gone, I am feeling grateful for so many gifts on so many levels as I reflect.

• My grandfather! Boy did I love him!
• My parents and siblings
• This blog
• Marsha
• Mary

And mostly, my meditation practice. It has taught me to remember to pause, be and FEEL into the moments as they are so fleeting. I don’t often take the time in my everyday moments to pause and FEEL and this morning I did.

I was opened to love on so many levels already this morning. I tapped into this deep profound connection with my grandfather through this writing. I was reminded that everyone in my life is here to teach me something and my job is to wake up, listen and learn.

I learned to trust again. Trust the universe and trust myself. I can see how everything is lining up perfectly; and if I just rest in the awareness of that simple truth, all will be well. This is reliably true for me.

My soul guides this week? Marsha, Mary, Grandpa Fred, Ashley, my husband, Michael the text guy 🙂 Everyone on this list played a role in the lesson that showed up for me this morning. I thank all my soul guides for showing up and reminding me this essential truth. 

What I was reminded of by my soul guides this week:   

• The power of presence and really listening to myself and trusting my intuition. 
• How to stand for what I want even if it may upset or disrupt others. 
• What true unconditional love feels like in my body and heart.

Be on the lookout for your Soul Teachers today and remember to practice checking in with yourself so you don’t miss the gift of the moment. I’ll be practicing with you.

in trust and gratitude,

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher