What this college grad did when she lost her internship.

August 1, 2021

I was coaching a recent college graduate. She was preparing to move away this August after graduating for an impressive internship in her field of study.

She had done all the things. Chosen a major, got the grades, built her resume and graduated with honors and applied well in advance for the internship that would take her to the next level.

She called me when the shit hit the fan after getting an email telling her that her position has been eliminated and there would no longer be an internship. She was scared, angry, and stressed out wondering what the hell she was going to do next – it was already July. She was feeling a bit like this.

This of course made tons of sense to me.

The good news. She didn’t yet know that she actually didn’t want that internship anyway, even though her ego really wanted it.

Her ego believed it was the perfect high profile position to move her up the ladder of success in her chosen field. She even believed she was lucky to have this opportunity. Now however, she was feeling the stress of being a burden to her parents who have been supporting her and she was feeling the pressure to become an adult and support herself.  

The first thing I always ask my clients is “So what’s the problem or issue that brought you to our call?”

Here is a little bit of what our conversation looked like on that day.

She explained the above to me and boy could I feel the adrenaline running through her.  So we did a quick check in meditation so she could begin to get out of her head and into her body and start to FEEL the fear that was running her. 

I then asked her to close her eyes and go back to the moment she got the email telling her the job was eliminated.

And here is where it got interesting.

She said she felt immediate relief and remembered thinking.  “Thank god, I didn’t actually want that job anyway.”  

I could see her whole body relax recalling that moment and then she added, “As a matter of fact, I don’t even want to work in the field I have a degree in! I just chose that because I had to make a choice and it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. It made sense.”

Bingo. Clarity. Truth. Awareness.

Trust that I told her. 

As I celebrated her clarity I could quickly see her demeanor shift and in came the racing fear, on steroids. The stories started to roll in.

I was aware that her ego had stepped in to take control again.

Once again she was in a contracted state of mind controlled by her fears. I asked her to again check in and notice what was going on in her body. She noticed all kinds of tightness in her jaw and fists, pressure in her head and chest and a pit in her stomach. Yup fear was here loud and clear.

We then checked in with her heart to see what emotions were present and noticed sadness, fear, anger and some joy!  Great noticing.

Then I asked her to check in with her head.  What were all the thoughts swirling around causing the fears? This is where she was off to the races.

• I have to figure this out asap.
• I don’t have time to reapply or find another internship.
• All the internships in my field are taken!
• My parents are going to be so disappointed.
• I am going to stress my parents out.
• I am not going to complete my graduation requirements and lose time and money invested.
• I’m going to be stuck.

So I invited her to play a game with me to see if we could capitalize on her awareness from earlier.

In stillness I invited her to go back to the moment when she received the email and asked her to recall what that felt like in her body when she could hear herself think “Thank god, I didn’t actually want that job anyway.”  

She reported feeling light, at ease, peaceful and calm for that brief but informative moment.

I invited her to bookmark that feeling as her truth and asked if she’d be willing to trust that feeling?

She replied,  “Well yeah, I know I don’t really want to take that internship or even work in that field, but I don’t know what else to do. I just spent the last 4 years getting a degree in that field and everyone else thinks it’s perfect.” 

I then suggested it was perfect, for someone else who was actually passionate about that feild and that job but maybe not her.

She agreed and went back to, “But I don’t know what else to do.”

Playing with our awareness is a bit like a tennis match. The truth comes in and we then have to volley a fear and truth returns and then back to fear, back n forth until we are ready to let go.

Once again I invited her to get still and tap into her internal wisdom asking her to see what her inner guidance was directing her to do next.  She noticed 3 distinct thoughts.

So we played let’s make a deal. 

I asked her to sit with each thought and notice how she felt when thinking about the options.  Behind door number one she felt pressure, tightness and constriction in her body.  Behind door number two she felt light, joyful, playful and excited, and behind door number three was some lightness, and some excitement but not as much as door number 2.

After the exercise she felt clear about what she wanted to do, but her ego was still pretty afraid. And that is ok. We let her fears and ego hang around. After all they make sense and are simply here to keep her safe. However we did not let them run the show.

With her new awareness and acceptance of her fears she was able to create a short list of next steps that feel more aligned for her. While her “future” remains uncertain, she has a bit more clarity and confidence as she steps into making some important decisions that will shape her moments and her future.

So, how do you tap into our own truth and trust yourself?  You’ve heard me say it again and again, it all starts with awareness, so be sure to download my check in meditation and begin to practice noticing what your body is telling you in all your moments. Then maybe, little by little you will start to follow what feels light, easeful and right for you.

Try it out and lmk how it goes.  I’d love to hear!

And if you’d like a little head start – I am here for you.  Sign up for your FREE coaching session and give it a try.

in trust and gratitude,

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher

PS: Know a young person launching in life? I will be restarting my Launch & Life groups this fall. I have a few open spots. Email me at annmarie@bringithome.me to get on the list.