Do you other, others?

August 29, 2021

So if you read last week’s post, I promised you a follow up.  If you did not, here is the link to get up to date.

On day 3 of our family vacation we gathered the family, rented a boat and headed out on the lake. We found a nice spot near our beach for some wake surf boarding and tubing. I was really enjoying myself and the boating experience and the irony from the day before was not lost on me. Suddenly making waves was just fine given the fact that I was the one making them and enjoying them.  

After a few hours tubing and wakeboard surfing, my son and his girlfriend decided they were done for the day and wanted to head back to the house.  Since we were 20 minutes from the Harbour and a 2 minute swim to our beach and house, they asked to swim to shore.  They offered to take the tube and a few other things off the boat to make unloading easier on us.

As we were helping them get off the boat, an older woman came swimming towards us and our boat. She was in a huff and began to yell at us.  “Can’t you see THIS is a SWIMMERS area!” She exclaimed “Get out of here!” she yelled at us.

Now, we spend a fair amount of time on this beach and there are always boaters anchoring, swimming and hanging out even closer than we were. As a matter of fact we were one of 3 boats there at the time.  

In an instant my husband and I became furious and the kids embarrassed.   

“How dare she!”  “Can’t she see we are doing our best to hurry up?”  “She is just a cranky old lady!” were some of the thoughts I was navigating. I am pretty sure I even said something sarcastic out loud so she could hear.

I was clearly triggered and lost my composure but more importantly in that moment, I lost my ability to see clearly.  Just the day before I was that woman, well at least in my mind.

On my paddle board, I was annoyed at the boaters’ wake and how it disrupted my experience and I wanted them to stop so I could have the experience I wanted.  ME ME ME.  It’s all about me.

This brief experience reminded me how self centered I can be from time to time. How I can make MY experience more important than “others”.  And yes, she too was self centered trying to protect her experience.  We all are. 

We all just want some peace, to feel happy and secure in our lives and we will do whatever it takes to try and create that for ourselves. 

My book, Little Seeds Journey reminds us to build our self awareness and remember the importance of our connection to all living things. 

What that means to me is to remember that we are all the same. When I was able to step back I could see that ‘nasty’ women was just like me. Wanting to feel safe and have her peaceful experience swimming in our lake on our beach.  OUR lake, OUR beach.

It can be so easy for us to make one another the “other” these days.  And it is just as easy to remember that we are all so much more connected than we realize.

My invitation this week is to plant a seed of awareness and watch the part of you that can “other” those around you. Watch how you, like me, might make someone else bad or wrong for likely wanting the same outcome you do.  Watch the part of you that might feel threatened or triggered when challenged and see if you are willing to look for how you are the same rather than different or have opposing goals.

In my experience we are all seeking the same exact thing in the end.  We want to feel safe, we all want to have some control over our lives and we for sure want to feel accepted by one another. 

How we get there may look different, but the end goal is the same.

Building your awareness takes practice however.  Be sure to download my check in meditation to support you to see more clearly too.

With gratitude and a deep breath,

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher

PS:  I planted a seed of patience a few weeks ago. Watch it grow @littleseedsjourney and feel free to grab your planting seeds starter kit below and join me.