Your Parenting Fears Are an Invitation to Freedom

February 6, 2022

If you’re a parent, fear is for real. 

Whether or not you are aware of the fear you feel is a whole other deal.

How will I shift? 

The biggest thing that gets in the way of creating boundaries with your kids is FEAR.

In last week’s blog, I shared how one couple was at their wit’s end trying to get their 23-year-old daughter to get a job after graduating college.

After nearly a year of “no change” mom and dad were starting to get impatient.

Although they were unaware, it was becoming clear that they had hidden fears interfering with their ability to create boundaries that would support their daughter’s efforts to find a job and gain independence…

When you are unaware of your fears they will control you. 

Like most teens and young adults these days, their daughter suffered from anxiety and depression in high school which wreaked a fair amount of havoc in the family home. 

Although she went on to do well in college, subconsciously mom and dad had not yet let go of those stressful high school days. In the back of their minds, they were running the “what if that happens again?” story.

Unconsciously they worried their daughter might struggle on her own and fall back into the old destructive patterns of depression, anxiety, and drug use they experienced in her high school years and they did not want that to happen.

Rather than face their own fears about their daughter falling back into old patterns, mom and dad were unconsciously trying to keep her ‘safe’ by keeping her at home.

This makes perfect sense to me as I imagine it does to you, too. Of course, we want to keep our kids safe, however when we parent from fear we create less than desirable outcomes.

No boundaries + no motivation = no job = daughter stays safe at home under our roof.

When this couple realized that their fears were holding them, and their daughter back, they were able to shift their attention from trying to control their daughter’s behavior to attending to their own.

When you lean into your fears you find freedom and agency in all your moments.

After all, that time spent supporting their daughter’s healing, they finally began to focus on healing themselves so that they could release the trauma they experienced as they navigated those tough years as a family.

Moving their attention from their daughter to themselves and finally feeling their feelings was a freeing and empowering shift move this couple was completely ready for.

They were reminded that their daughter was in fact strong, resilient, and capable and they had renewed faith that she will be just fine on her own and has all the support she needs to thrive.

From this place of trust, it was clear to them what they needed to do from here.

Want to add some powerful shift moves to your parenting playbook?

This takes practice to reliably answer this question and I’ve got just what you need.

My new e-Course, Drop Family Drama, is designed to shift unhealthy disempowering patterns that create conflict and disconnection in families and help develop healthy empowering dynamics, resulting in authentic, lasting conscious relationships with our kids.

Starting on February 8th, for 5 weeks, we will explore the 4 Key Questions of Conscious Parenting in a live playful, interactive training.

Each of the questions is designed to support you in becoming radically self-aware, or more conscious, in all your parenting moments, and empower you to make meaningful, sustainable, and impactful shifts that bring you closer to your true nature and your family.

I could not be more excited to share with you how these simple questions have changed my life and all my relationships. 

I hope to see you on February 8th!

To parenting authentically and not perfectly,

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher