What Motherhood, O’hare Airport, & An Expired Passport Had to Teach Me

May 5, 2024

My daughter and I got to O’Hare at 6:20am for our 7:30am flight to Cancun. I’d had trouble checking in online, so we walked up to the ticket agent to check in. 

At this moment, we are both feeling pretty gleeful about our spontaneous girls’ trip and super excited to be four hours away from our beach chair.

I hand the ticket agent our passports, and after she checks me in, she says, “Uhm, Ma’am, your daughter’s passport is expired.

Incredulous, I reply, “What?”

Yes, she confirms, it expired a month ago.

My heart drops, and I am instantly dumbfounded.  

I turn to look at my very disappointed daughter, who replies, “I am so sorry, mom.”

Not only am I in shock that the passport has expired, but I am even more shocked at her reaction.

You see, my youngest daughter was born extremely temperamental. She cried for 12 hours a day as a baby, had loads of anxiety as a kid, and maintains a robust relationship to her anger.

She has always been easily triggered and was an expert at outbursts, no matter where we were or who was watching. When she was upset, everyone knew about it.

Here we are, almost 20 years later, sitting in O’Hare airport, with both of us keeping our cool, and by George, I think we’ve got it.

What Motherhood has taught me is: To mother is to nurture another back home to its truest self. 

My daughter, who for many, many years has struggled with navigating her big emotions, is calmly listening as the ticket agent says to me, “Wow, that is impressive, my youngest daughter would be throwing a tantrum right now (her youngest is now 35 years old, btw)”. I giggled, thinking, “Yeah, mine too!”

I had been a single mom of a three and five year-old when she was born, and I’d been going through an epically dramatic divorce. To say I had little to no patience at that time was an understatement.

Back then, my outbursts were about equal to hers.

I was early in my meditation training at the time and just learning how to calm myself down and very eager to teach her how to calm herself down too.

The thing is, I was trying to teach her something I had not yet fully mastered.

Intellectually, I understood the benefits of a meditation practice, and was steeped in the science, but I didn’t fully embody what being present meant in those early days.

Lucky for me, the last 25 years of motherhood have provided me with ample opportunities to practice, and here is the most important thing I’ve learned.

When I focus my attention on myself, everything else falls into place around me.

I remember the first time I played with this concept.

My daughter had been about eight years old and was having a tantrum in the kitchen. 

I did my own practice and focused on my reactivity, rather than on her tantrum. (Not easy, but I did it!)

I calmly stood there while she expressed her rage, not trying to stop her, control her, or change her at all. I simply allowed for her tantrum until she ran out of steam.

Somewhat quickly, she stopped screaming and yelling and stomping around and just stared at me incredulously, as if she was wondering“What is going on here? Why are you so calm? This is not how we normally do this!”

I was literally watching her whole body calm itself down and relax until we both found ourselves sitting on the kitchen floor together.

At that moment, I finally got it. 

My vibration matters. My energy matters. 

My job is not to tell her how to be, it is to show her by embodying it myself.

One thing I have come to know is that our true nature is peace, joy, calm, and unconditional love. 

Thankfully we got her new passport that afternoon and hopped on a flight the next day. It was pretty seamless, as life can be when you’re embodying trust.

That is not woo hoo. It is the essence of who you are as a human being.

When your nervous system is activated, you are disconnected from your true nature. 

To mother is to nurture another back home to its truest self.

And that starts with you.

When someone you love is out of balance, or not connected to their true essence, the most powerful thing you can do is show them the way back home by being your true essence yourself. 

You cannot Invite anyone else into resonance with their truest nature if you are not in your true nature.

Which takes me back to those 11 days in the jungle when my whole nervous system reset with the rhythm of the rainforest. The trees, animals, plants, water, sun and moon didn’t tell me what to do, they just showed me.

The harmony of all the elements of the rainforest became the invitation for me to be present. 

Because, after all, we all mother one another in one form or another ❤️. Fully embodying ourselves with a sense of acceptance–and even joy–nurtures those around us and encourages them to do the same for others.

What do you need to do to access the vibration of joy, calm, peace today?

in trust and gratitude,

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher

P.S. In Module 1 of my new course Drop the Drama I talk all about what it means to be in your home frequency. Join today and learn how you can live from the frequency of joy and gratitude!