Why you should love being triggered by your partner
June 23, 2024
I was working with a client in a new relationship. He is ready to commit, and she is struggling to commit.
They play a familiar game. Or in other words, they have a pattern.
He leans into the relationship and she pulls away. It’s a bit like a tug of war. In frustration, he suggested they take a break. From fear she replied back in a snarky text, “What is that supposed to mean?”
This then triggered a whole host of back ‘n’ forth texts between the two of them, arguing, defendling, explaining until they exhausted themselves into apologies, which resulted in a ‘sudo reconnection’.
In other words they kicked up a whole bunch of Drama, but didn’t resolve the core issue. Sound familiar?
And this is what happens in relationships.
Rather than connect authentically, we distract, avoid, blame, and create pseudo connections through drama-based patterns we developed in childhood.
This is just the way human beings are wired, and it is totally ok.
However, if you are seeking deeper, more meaningful connections with those you love, with awareness, you can learn to choose differently.
You can drop the old familiar drama and step into full empowerment. It just takes a bit of clarity and a dose of courage and a new roadmap.
Because changing the way you are doing things is truly stepping into unknown territory.
And let’s be honest, change can feel scary because patterns are safe, familiar, reliable and comfortable, even if they don’t get us what we want. However, the payoff to changing a pattern is massive because you get your time, energy and full aliveness back and step into your full potential.
And from that place anything is possible.
When you accept the invitation from your triggers to awaken, so much more is possible and available to you. More energy, time, love and freedom is available from this place. And so much more connection is possible from this place.
This is what your relationship has the potential to create when you get curious about those annoying triggers.
So this week, I invite you to welcome those pesky triggers and see where they might lead you.
If you are curious about learning more about how your triggers can transform your relationships, check out my new course, Drop the Drama. This self paced, 8 week online course will teach you how to identify, shift and transform those old sticky patterns that keep you stuck so you can feel more empowered and connected to the people you love the most.
Say yes to less war, more love please.
When you heal, you heal the world.
in trust and gratitude,
Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher