Why We Hang On to Resentments + The Cost of Resentment
November 19, 2021
Last week I asked the question, “Why do you hold on to resentment?” There are quite a few reasons.
- Resentments serve as a barrier to your broken heart. No one wants to feel pain.
- Resentments protect you from feeling the tough feelings. (see number one)
- Resentments give you a sense of control. It’s a false sense of control, but it feels better than pain.
- Resentments are great tools of distraction. When you have your attention on resentment you can avoid the pain.
We live in a world in which human beings are committed to blaming one another for our own feelings and experiences. We simply do not want to take responsibility for them, so instead we turn our attention to resentment, blame, and entitlement.
This makes so much sense to me!!!!
My divorce was filled with all the things: deception, infidelity, bankruptcy, and loads of drama. I couldn’t see beyond them. I simply couldn’t see through the fog of my righteous resentment that none of that should be happening! But as my fog of fear lifted, I began to see more clearly and find freedom from the toxic vibration of resentment.
Resentment says, “I was entitled to a different experience, and you are to blame for why I didn’t get it.”
If you choose not to clean up your resentment, well, that is of course entirely your choice, but please know there is a cost to you. I know this deeply because I myself have paid a high price for my resentments over the years.
Here are some of the costs of resentment:
- Resentment keeps your heart closed which also makes it unavailable for receiving.
- Resentment robs you of the opportunity to look for the gifts in what occurred and keeps you living at the effect of the circumstances.
- Resentment keeps you powerless.
- Resentment is truly a poison in your system.
These are unsustainably high costs. Resentment is an energy enemy that takes up space in the mind and the heart, where gratitude, appreciation, and love live.
The real medicine for resentment is appreciation, and learning to drop into your heart is a key shift move.
In this Complimentary Practice I walk you through a Heart Coherence Practice to support you in expanding your capacity for authentic gratitude and appreciation.
Heart CoHerence Meditation
Use this practice daily as a tool to support a lasting and meaningful shift in your mind, body, heart and soul.
The path to appreciation is not always an easy one to travel, so I have a map to offer. I’ve been there, and I know the territory. More on that next week.
Until then, enjoy the moments.
With gratitude,
Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher
“Annmarie knows what she is talking about because she practices and lives consciously as a parent and as an educator. I’m regularly inspired by both her insight and her courage as she continues to wake up to a new way of being with kids and then passionately passes that on to others.”
JIM DETHMER
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