Why It’s Important to Embrace Your Judgments
August 31, 2025
No one taught us how to navigate conflict.
When I was a kid, conflict in my family looked like silence, avoidance, and holding things in.
My husband, Kim, grew up learning to avoid conflict too — changing the subject, keeping emotions under wraps, and steering clear of anything uncomfortable.
What about you?
Like so many couples, we brought those patterns into our marriage and family.
Today I can see my tendency to bite my tongue rather than speak my mind, because “I just don’t want to get into it.”
I know I am not alone and hear clients and friends routinely say the same thing.
Our “conflict playbook” often leaves us stuck and leading to what I call, low-level chronic disconnection — those subtle, ongoing withholds and avoided conversations that quietly pull two people apart.
Letting the little things go in service of peace and not making a big deal out of the small stuff and/or picking your battles.
It’s not a problem… until it is.
This is where the moment from our recent live conversation goes — a raw, real exchange showing how we use One Simple Question to find our way back to connection.
When we avoid conflict, we’re really avoiding the deeper feelings and needs underneath. We get lost inside our emotions, convinced we’re right, or slide into victim consciousness — and that makes it impossible to stay open, take responsibility, and get the learning the moment is offering.
But when you have the tools to be with those feelings — to ask the right questions, and to meet each other in curiosity instead of control — something shifts. The distance closes. You feel more alive, more connected, more like a team.
So, let me ask again: What did you learn about conflict in your family growing up? And how might that still be showing up for you today?
And if you missed our August 21st conversation, here’s your chance to catch the replay. You’ll see exactly how Kim and I navigate conflict in real time — the messy bits, the learning moments, and the simple question that changes everything.
in trust and gratitude,
Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher