What to Do With Overwhelm

July 23, 2023

Navigating overwhelm can feel, well, overwhelming.

My daughter just graduated college. She is moving to New York and looking for a job.

She is overwhelmed with options, decisions and opportunities. When she gets overwhelmed she shuts down, feels anxious and gets irritable. 

Sound familiar?

Here is what I have been telling her about overwhelm. 

Overwhelm is your ego’s attempt at control and is rooted in victim consciousness. It will have you believing things like:

There is not enough time.

I can’t do this.

This is too hard.

I need help!

Overwhelm is a sign that there are too many competing emotions and feelings for your nervous system to handle which is why you experience anxiety.

Rather than face all those terrifying feelings, your ego will shut you down. It thinks that by shutting down, it can avoid the discomfort of all those competing emotions.

This is called a drift move. 

So, I asked her to identify her behaviors when she feels overwhelmed. 

She noticed that she spaces out, freezes, plans trips, goes to social media and snacks to name a few avoidance strategies.

(These are her signature drift moves. You have yours and I have mine too.)

The irony she then noticed, is that her overwhelm grows when she spaces out, freezes and avoids because her to do list grows.

So I told her the antidote to overwhelm is doing the opposite of what you do IN overwhelm.

Rather than shutting down and avoiding, open up and pay attention, but not on your to do list. 

Instead, open up and pay attention to your emotions.

Open up to the fear, open up to the sadness, open up to the frustration and allow yourself to FEEL all the feelings so that they can move all the way through you. 

When you feel your feelings all the way through, you free yourself from the stress of holding it in so your mind can relax and your nervous system follows.

From this place your brain is available to get back to work again. 

Moral of the story, what you resist persists.

What are your signature drift moves when you are in overwhelm?

Drop me a line and let me know.

With gratitude and love,

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher