What The Mother Tree Reminded Me..

Sunday, March 24, 2024

More musing from my time in the Amazon.

With our brilliant guide and 5 others, in total, we spent 12 days and 11 nights in the jungle with the indigenous people of the Sapara and Achuar communities.

To be honest, even though this trip has been on my bucket list for over a decade, I started the journey with a fair amount of trepidation. 

I’ve spent a lot of years exploring the unknown in my life through meditation, medicine journeys, and spiritual practice. However, this felt like the “next level unknown” to me.

To really know me is to know that I have never been camping in my life, and this trip was about as raw as it gets, sleeping outside in the jungle for 11 nights with none of my familiar creature comforts.

There were many ‘what if’s’ rolling around my mind, and most of all, I simply could not imagine not being in touch with my kids for so long. Never in my 25-year parenting career have I been disconnected from my kids for such a long period of time.

It was a rough start. Upon landing in Quito, the second-highest capital in the world, I detected a slight headache, and by the time we reached our first destination, two hours later, the lovely Sierra Alisos, I was in full-on head-pounding agony.

I was experiencing intense altitude sickness.

My body was already in a state of resistance and I immediately knew this was my first “test” stepping into discomfort.

Additionally, I get motion sickness, and our drive was quite an experience as we wound through the mountainside, weaving in and out of traffic until we reached the windy roads of the Highlands. Just a mile or so from the entrance to our lovely hotel, on a rocky unpaved path, in the middle of the mountain in the pitch-black darkness, our driver came to a stop at a fork in the road. 

At this point, I can barely hold my head up. I am extremely nauseous, and I can’t see clearly because my head is pounding so hard. I knew that I should be drinking a lot of water to help with the altitude sickness but I was also trying to balance not drinking too much water because I didn’t want to also have to hold my bladder on this long ride!

Because of my motion sickness, I was sitting in the front seat next to our lovely driver, and the rest of our group was half asleep in the back of the van. I don’t speak Spanish, and he does not speak English. He was trying to explain to me and us what was going on, but it took a few minutes for us to figure out what he was saying.

There had been a lot of rain recently and his van was not capable of making the rest of the drive. We had to wait for our hosts to come pick us up.

So here I am (here we are) on this rocky, muddy, unpaved road in the pitch-black mountainside village in the Highlands of Ecuador, hearing every jungle sound imaginable, empty belly, full bladder, head pounding, and my resistance rising.

After about 15-20 excruciating minutes of waiting at this fork in the road, headlights appear, and a pickup truck and sedan speed up the road toward us.

I wondered if this fork in the road was some kind of metaphor for me.

It was 11 pm by the time we entered the Inn, and I was exhausted, hungry, and incredibly uncomfortable. I could hardly breathe because my heart was racing so fast (which is what happens to me when I get Altitude sickness), and my head felt like it was going to explode. On a scale of 1-10, I was a 9.8.

I was so uncomfortable that it was hard to think, which I now realize is a good thing because the few thoughts I did have were not very helpful!

I just wanted to lie down and try to go to sleep. 

Hot water was only available between 7-9 a.m. and 7-9 p.m., so a shower or bath was not an option. By the time I laid my head on the pillow, I realized that “heat” was not necessarily a thing either. My room was quite cold.

On a scale of 1-10, I was now a 15.

This, I think, is not a great start to this trip. I could also hear myself think, I am NOT going to do this for the next 14 days. 

Not a chance. I want out of here!!!!

Hello, familiar resistance. Welcome back. 

I am very familiar with this state of being in me—the one who prefers comfort and convenience, the one who works hard to control and avoid suffering at all costs.

And then, within a few moments of my head hitting the cold and firm pillow, a vision came to me of a giant Kapok Tree with a huge root leading right into my heart, and I heard it say, “Breath with me.”

I was too “out of it” to question anything, so I simply compiled.

I began taking long, deep breaths into this magnificent tree’s root and could feel it breathing with and for me. Like a seesaw, we exchanged breaths back and forth. Soon, I could feel my heartbeat begin to slow down, and my body began to relax.

Together, all night long, she kept coming to me, and we breathed together. I felt her power and strength in me. 

I felt held by this tree that I had not yet met in real life, and I began to surrender.

By morning, my head began to soften, and my heart slowed to the pulse that nature was inviting me into. I was feeling better and back to myself again.

My resistance had softened and my body and my mind relaxed into this new world. 

Even though we had three days until we reached the “jungle,” at that moment, I realized my journey had already begun.

Immediately, I knew that there was no option other than to surrender fully.

And finally, I did.

It never ceases to amaze me how reliably life offers me the lessons I most need, and surrender seems to be at the top of the list once again.

When I got home, I racked my brain to try and figure out HOW to stay in the vibration of the jungle so that I could feel more peace in my moments.

And then it hit me…The familiar resistance once again.

As I integrate back into the hustle and bustle of my daily life here in the ‘big city,” I notice all the big and small ways I continue to resist what “is”.

The temperature, the noise, the traffic, my inbox, my obligations, my commitments, technology, meal prep, and the general pace of city life.

I was resisting it all until I didn’t.

I remembered that being at peace is not about where I am in the world, yet it is HOW I am in my mind and body.  I can tap into the vibration of peace whenever I wish.  

It is simply a matter of my choosing to connect to it.

My time in the rainforest was simply a reset or a recalibration.  The rainforest reminded my body what peace FEELS like and gave me a blueprint so that I can choose to recreate it wherever I go.

And you can, too.

You don’t need to go to the rainforest or on a big life adventure to find your resistance. Today, I invite you to simply pay attention to whatever is occurring in your life and notice where or what you might be resisting or pushing against. 

What are you not wanting to happen, feel, believe, or deal with? 

Is someone in your life doing something you don’t like?

Do you find yourself complaining about the weather, your mother-in-law, or taxes?

Pay particular attention to thoughts or sentences that start with:

I wish he/she/it was different in some way.

They shouldn’t do (fill in the blank).

It’s not fair that (fill in the blank).

He/She should listen to me!!!!

I just don’t have a choice about (fill in the blank)

Resistance is our clue that we are trapped in a state of disempowerment, which by the way is completely normal, but keeps trapped in unhelpful patterns that do not serve our highest good.

The antidote to resistance is always to surrender. Period.

So this week, my invitation to you is to simply notice where you are experiencing resistance in your life and relationships and bring the quality of unconditional acceptance to the parts of you that are in resistance. Remember you are simply being HUMAN and there is nothing wrong with the human condition.

However, to truly shift resistance, you must first be in an embodied state of acceptance, which is a higher vibration. From this higher vibration, you are more available and connected to source energy or the infinite field of possibilities.

And that is a fun playground to be in, for sure!

So, do yourself a favor this week and begin to build your awareness muscle. You can start by making a list of all the things you are in resistance to and what your body feels like when you are in resistance.

Just this simple practice will crack you open and shake things up a bit.

See you on the other side!

Much gratitude,

Annmarie

PS:  To learn more about the cost of resistance in your life and relationships, join my new online course, Drop the Drama.  In this course, you will learn how resistance creates drama in your life and how you have the power to shift it.

Much gratitude,

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher