The Power of Grieving in Motherhood

May 19, 2024

Last month I stepped into a room full of incredibly inspiring women who have forever changed my life.

Every one of them has faced the unimaginable loss no mother ever lets herself imagine. The loss of a child is unthinkable, yet some of these mothers had lost more than one. 

In that space, I saw the power of love reignite inside an unimaginable grief no mother should ever have to experience.

These women reminded me of the undeniable power of a mother’s unconditional love.

You know, I’ve faced some pretty challenging times as I’ve mothered over the last 26 years: infidelity, betrayal, addiction, bankruptcy, divorce, single parenting, blending families, more addiction, more betrayal. 

While I know each of these challenges has served me in my personal and spiritual growth, I would not wish any of my stress and drama on anyone.

However, these women have endured a pain I cannot fathom. 

They’ve joined a club no mother wants to be a part of and have an assignment from life that seems unbearable to me.

I was honored to be there to support these brave women, as well as my friend Laura Berman, who I met over 15 years ago at a preschool playdate. Along with the two of us, her son Sammy and my daughter Ashley became friends and we spent time in those early years getting through our tricky parenting moments together.

Sammy lost his life at 16 in February 2021.

Even as I write that, I can feel my heart drop, my breath become shallow, and the tears rise up.

After hearing the news, I had no idea how I could possibly support my friend, who now lived across the country, through her unimaginable loss.

Since then, Laura has been truly inspirational. She has shared her journey of grieving so honestly and generously with her community. She is authentic, raw, unapologetic, courageous, and willing to be vulnerable.

I cannot even begin to imagine how hard it is to not only grieve the loss of a child, but to do so in the public eye so vulnerably.

She has turned her pain into a powerful purpose.

And here is what I was reminded of on this incredibly inspiring weekend.

Mothers are a powerhouse of LOVE.

I watched these women, who’d only just met at this retreat, open their hearts, share their tragic and heartbreaking stories, feel their pain, and hold each other through it all. 

I watched them scream, cry, yell, dance, laugh, hug, hold, embrace, cry more, celebrate, and give and receive love.

I watched them break open to feel it all.

I witnessed these women transform with and for one another in this special and sacred container. I marveled at the depth, strength, courage, and capacity to give and receive love despite their pain.

The truth is, when you join the mothering club, you have no idea what is in store for you.  

I know I didn’t. 

But here is what I do know.

Empowered Mothers, Empower Others.

Laura made it her mission to get strong enough to support other mothers navigating the same loss, and I witnessed firsthand what is possible when mothers are empowered.

Laura knew she had to move through her grief not just for herself,  but for her family.

I knew the same thing while navigating my “messiness” all those years ago.

The thing is, you always have a choice of how you are going to be with what is occurring. Your free will is your greatest superpower.

So whatever challenge you are facing or will face, remember you are being invited to expand into your highest self, that this too is a gift, and that you must put yourself first so that you can be available to support and empower others. 

Ask yourself:

In what way is this challenge for me? What am I being invited to learn? Where am I being asked to expand, evolve, and grow?

To me, mothering is like weaving a tapestry of love, fear, joy, mystery, patience, heartbreak, and nurturing all in one precious and delightful moment. It’s about embracing the delicate balance between trusting life and accepting what is in all the moments. It feels like being a lighthouse, providing steady guidance through life’s storms, yet allowing space for exploration and growth. It’s a blend of tenderness, strength, and unwavering support, creating a safe harbor in a chaotic world. 

Mothering is a profound journey of selflessness, sacrifice, and boundless affection, where every moment is an opportunity to shape and cherish a precious life and grow, expand, and evolve into the vast space of unconditional love that carries you through this journey.

The most surprising thing about mothering to me is how it has been as much about growing me up as it has been about nurturing my kids.

in trust and gratitude,

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher