Practice Makes you Powerful

February 23, 2025

I can’t believe how powerful that felt. 

Over the holidays my son and I got into a familiar pattern.

He said and did the ‘things’ that trigger me at what was supposed to be a fun festive holiday dinner.

I was pissed!

And then….

I started internally judging him: “He can be such a jerk! He is so selfish! Why is he so mean??” 

I gossiped with other family members asking them if they “agreed” looking for my judgments to be validated which of course only fueled my anger.

I withdrew and became passive aggressive.

This is our familiar pattern. I know it. He knows it. We see it and we’ve talked about it for years.

And yet we still fall into the pattern.

Because awareness is only the first step.

This time however,  I did something very different. I spent some time offering myself compassion rather than judging, gossiping and withdrawing.

Then something magical happened.

I started to see how sad and hurt I really was. I had high hopes for a festive night out with the family and the evening didn’t go as planned. Given how little time we have together these days, the bar was set pretty high for a picture perfect holiday meal. 

And it simply did not go that way and I was sad, however my anger took over and got in the way of me feeling my sadness. Which is my pattern.

Because anger was my predominant emotion in the moment, rather than my typical pattern of judging my anger, I offered myself some true compassion. I simply allowed the anger with some spacious loving breath. I let myself feel it until it dissolved into a doorway of sadness, the deeper emotion I really needed to FEEL.

Then I offered some real compassion to the sadness, which felt incredibly empowering.

In very short order, I was back in my body feeling open, spacious, curious and truly available for connection with my son.

And then everything shifted between us.

We were able to have an honest conversation about our authentic feelings and he felt safe enough to share what was going on in him.

We saw each other beyond the barriers of our defensive patterns and began to see each other heart to heart, where true connection lives.

While I know this pattern will likely rear its ugly head again as healing and transformation take time, I trust that the next time I will more easily access compassion because I have begun to build the muscle of awareness.

Like all things, transformation takes time and I know that healing is a journey, not a destination. Patterns that have been ingrained over years don’t shift overnight, but every step forward—no matter how small—makes a difference.

What I’ve learned is that compassion is the bridge. When I pause, feel, and offer myself compassion, I create space for a deeper understanding of myself and those I love. This space allows me to choose connection over conflict, curiosity over judgment, and love over fear.

The truth is, relationships are not perfect, and that’s okay. 

What matters is how we show up in those imperfect moments. Each time I choose compassion, I strengthen my ability to break old patterns and create something new—a relationship built on trust, authenticity, and mutual understanding.

So as I continue this journey with my son, I’m choosing to hold both of us with compassion. And I hope this inspires you to do the same in your relationships. Remember, transformation takes time, but every act of compassion—toward yourself or others—plants a seed for a more connected and fulfilling future.

Where in your relationships could compassion create a shift for you?  In this week’s Vlog, I share my personal experience.

In this week’s VLOG I offer powerful insights and tools to help you practice compassion in real time. Start transforming your relationships by connecting to your heart and letting compassion lead the way.

In this episode you will:

• Discover how practicing self-compassion creates the foundation for extending compassion to others.
• Learn how to recognize judgment or frustration in real-time and transform those moments into opportunities for connection.
• Understand how to identify challenging dynamics in your relationships and apply a step-by-step process to shift from judgment to curiosity and compassion.

I’d love to hear how it goes for you—comment below and let me know.

in trust and gratitude,

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher