Lessons Learned in Motherhood

August 11, 2024

A few weeks ago, I was talking to a friend who recently became a grandmother. {Yeah, that is happening to my friends now. I cannot wrap my brain around it. Yikes! Are our kids actually having kids?} Anyway, she was babysitting and her daughter in law asked her to download an app that will notify her when her granddaughter will need to eat and sleep.

WTF???? Was both her and my reply. She promptly told her daughter in law “There is no way I am using that app!” and I warned my daughters to never ask the same of me even though they are a few years away from parenting.

While tech can be helpful it can also be dangerous. All these attempts to ‘stay connected’ these days are having the opposite effect on us as women and as mothers. It seems we are systematically being disconnected from our most valuable resource, our intuition, our deepest knowing. 

Let me ask you something, Do you trust yourself?  Or do you catch yourself doubting yourself and your decisions in Motherhood and in life? Do you worry you may not get it right, or you might make the wrong decision. Are you ever afraid you are screwing it up?

Early on in my Motherhood journey, I was so afraid I was going to mess it all up that I read every book, took every class and listened to every “expert” out there trying to figure out the right way to ‘mother.’ I had been conditioned to believe that someone else knew better than me. 

Turns out, I didn’t actually trust myself. I didn’t even know HOW to trust myself.

Learning to trust myself has been one of the greatest gifts I have gotten on my Motherhood journey and it has come with a price. Because trusting myself sometimes meant going against the culture, my family, friends, my husband, my religion, the doctors and what I had been taught to believe about life so far. Well often it did.

Like… getting a divorce when I was 9 months pregnant with my third child, or encouraging my kids NOT to go to college or telling my kids to quit the secure paying job and instead pursue their passions.

My kids and my life became a deep dive back home to the truth of who I really am and who I am truly meant to be. I had to learn to reconnect with myself, my deepest knowing and trust myself above all else. I had to learn to quiet the noise of the outside world so I could actually hear my intuition. I had to muster up the courage to follow my gut even if it went against what I had been taught to believe.

It has not always been easy and I have had to peel back the layers of lies I had been fed one by one and believe me, they keep coming, however slowly but surely as I let go of needing others approval, of trying to get it right and looking for security outside myself, I have learned to deeply trust myself, follow my intuition and let my gut lead me even when it feels scary.

I had to let go of believing getting divorced was a problem. I had to let go of believing everybody should get a traditional college education. I had to let go of believing my kids should not struggle. I had to let go of believing life was not supposed to get messy. 

And when I do let go and let life lead me, without fail I am reliably delighted with where life is taking me.

Turns out, learning to trust myself has been one of the greatest gifts my motherhood journey has given me.

Wherever you are on your motherhood journey, remember to start with mothering yourself. Start with reconnecting to your true self. Nurture yourself. Come back home to the wise one within—and set yourself free. 🆓

PS: I have a simple practice that can help get you started on your journey—[grab it here for free].

in trust and gratitude,

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher