How Drama Drains Your Power and How to Reclaim it

April 25, 2024

Ok, “Here we go again!” is the thought that woke me in the middle of the night, rudely interrupting my sleep. “I cannot believe this is happening again!” My husband and I were having that same familiar argument we’ve had over and over again through the years.

I could feel all the old ‘young’ parts of me coming forward, arguing to be ‘heard’ and ‘right,’ and I could feel all his young parts stammering around, wanting to be ‘seen’ and ‘felt.’ What we reliably create from this place is disconnection and drama. 🎭

How I Create Drama and Disconnection ⬆️

I withdraw in an effort to not cause a ‘disruption.’ For me, that looks like being pleasant, friendly, and pragmatic, but definitely not warm, welcoming, and open. I tell myself I am being an “adult” by not perpetuating the argument, but in reality, I am in my flee pattern of avoiding because I simply cannot access my adult thinking brain. I am in fear, caught up in some childlike persona that is trapped within, looking for the escape hatch.

The Problem with Withdrawing

Withdrawing and fleeing use up my valuable resources and energy that I would otherwise use for my creative projects, doing fun things, and connecting with my favorite people. It is incredibly draining to withdraw and takes a lot of energy to hold back feelings and emotions that are wanting to be expressed. As a matter of fact, it requires more life force energy to withhold and withdraw than it does to be fully expressed. It’s kind of like trying to hold back a firehose that is flowing with water to put out a fire. It takes a LOT of energy and is incredibly draining, exhausting, and disempowering.

I do know that if I want a different outcome, I must do things differently, and this means facing my old fears and finding the courage to create something new. Much easier said than done, for sure, when dealing with these young, tender parts.

Recognizing the Patterns: The First Step to Reclaiming Your Power 🔍

From a very young age, we are all conditioned by our family, culture, and society to believe certain things about ourselves and the world. These beliefs shape our actions and reactions, often without us even realizing it. Reclaiming your power starts with retracing your steps and acknowledging and accepting where you lost it to begin with.

The first step to breaking free from these old limiting patterns is, you guessed it, self-awareness. You will need to become radically aware of the patterns you developed in childhood that are at the root of the trigger in the first place. This does, however, require a deep willingness to look within and honestly assess how you are contributing to the drama and disconnection in your life.

(You can learn more about this in my online course “Drop the Drama,” where I help you become radically aware of these patterns so that you can find freedom and be more empowered in all your relationships when you get triggered.)

Embracing Self-Awareness and Empowerment

When you become more intimate with yourself and your patterns that co-create disconnection and drama in your life and relationships, you begin to sit in the seat of empowerment in your life. From this place, you can more easily connect to your true self, find the well of compassion within, and create the outcomes you most desire.

Here is what I know for sure: while drama and disconnection are the silent saboteurs of your peace and empowerment, they are unequivocally here FOR you and your spiritual growth. And the people closest to you will always trigger you more than anyone else. Like it or not.

Choosing Your Path When Drama Knocks

When drama comes knocking, you have some choices to make:

Option A: You can resist it, push against it, ignore it, avoid it, wish it away, or deny it. ⛔️(What most people choose) 

Option B: You can acknowledge it, welcome it, embrace it, and learn from it. 🤗(The less traveled path)

Admittedly, I can say firsthand that Option B looks way easier on paper than in reality. However, it is the most reliable path to reclaiming your power and finding freedom in all your relationships.

As you become aware of and begin to shift these familiar, but unhelpful patterns, you will create space for more authentic and meaningful connections. You will start to engage with life from a place of presence and choice rather than reaction and fear. This not only enhances your own well-being but also positively impacts all of your relationships.

By acknowledging and welcoming your unconscious patterns that create drama and disconnection, you become more connected to yourself and step into a more empowered way of being. 🙌🏼

What are your go-to patterns that keep you trapped in drama? What holds you back and drains your energy? Are you aware?

Hit reply and let me know.

in trust and gratitude,

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher

PS: If you are interested in learning more about your go to patterns, take a peek inside my online course Drop the Drama where I help you identify your go to roles when you are triggered in relationships.