From drama to peace for the holiday meal

November 24, 2024

Maybe you are super excited about the upcoming holiday dinner. 

Or maybe you are like many people—dreading it because of the inevitable conflicts that arise when your family gets together….

…siblings competing and arguing

…political debates 

…old family conflicts coming up

When things erupt, how do you deal with it?

Do you immediately try to smooth things over?

Do you walk away and find something else to do?

Do you jump in and take sides?

Do you freeze?

Your response all depends on what you learned to do in your family system growing up.

Being aware of your go-to pattern is the key to enjoying your family on Thanksgiving Day and well to be honest, all the days!.

The thing is, you can’t control what is happening out there (conflict between others) but you can control how you react to it.

Try these 3 steps to begin to shift your experience no matter what everyone else is doing.

1. Become aware of your sensations: Pay attention to what happens in your body when conflict comes up. Notice the sensations and feelings. You may notice contractions in your body, like stiffening, clenching your jaw or fists or you may notice your chest pressing down and feeling heavy.
2. Notice your thoughts. Thoughts like, “I can’t stand this,  Why can’t he just shut up, When will they grow up,  She is so pushy, OMG, here we go again, I can fix this, I wish they could just get along, will all give you important clues to build self-awareness
3. Pause, Once you’ve noticed what’s happening in your body and mind. Take a few deep breaths and give yourself space before reacting. This simple practice can shift you from being reactive to feeling more grounded and in control of your own experience.

Instead of trying to fix the situation, just be with it. You don’t have to resolve the family drama. You can choose to stay present, calm, and centered regardless of what’s unfolding around you.

True, it may not be easy, but I know you can do it!

Ultimately, the key to surviving (and even enjoying) holiday gatherings is learning to let go of the need to control. The more you practice tuning into yourself, the easier it becomes to navigate even the most difficult conversations with more peace and less stress.

So this Thanksgiving, focus less on controlling the chaos and more on your response. It just might make your holiday a little more enjoyable—and who knows, you might even surprise yourself with a moment of gratitude.

Wishing you an abundance of joy.

in trust and gratitude,

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher