Ever Feel Angry With Your Spouse?

April 18, 2024

We all get annoyed with the people we love. It’s natural.

But what can you learn about YOU when you experience frustration? I believe this is a far more interesting conversation than what your partner is doing or not doing to piss you off.

In my experience, conflict always leads to deeper clarity. Conflict “out there” 👉🏼 is almost always a sign that there is a conflict “in here” ❤️.

Look Inward for Clarity

These days, when I notice myself clenching my jaw, internally or externally judging, picking at my husband, or simply just getting snappy, I get curious about what is going on in me before acting on my frustrations or jumping into blame.

I take the time to check in with my heart first.

Then, I ask myself things like:

• What are you afraid of right now?
• What do you need right now that you are not getting?
• What are you not saying that you want to say?
• Are you willing to speak candidly about your feelings?

Asking these questions helps me turn my attention inward and get more self-aware so that I can see more clearly what is actually going on in me.

Understanding the Root of Frustration

More often than not, when you look inward, you will find that the real frustration lies in feeling that you are unable to get what you want or need in the relationship. You likely feel like you’ve tried everything you know and you just don’t know how to get there!

Maybe you want more:

• TLC
• Time to connect
• Space to yourself
• Room to be expressed
• Help around the house or with the kids

Often, when you are frustrated with your partner, you withhold a feeling, desire, or need that is not being met.

Breaking the Pattern

You withhold because you have not been taught to:

• Be self-aware enough to know what is at the core of your feelings.
• Welcome your own vulnerability.
• Consciously communicate your needs to others.

You have been taught to ignore, deny, avoid, and suppress your needs and feelings.

The good news is that you have the power to change all of this when you take the time to understand yourself and your patterns.

When you make the choice to focus inward, you step into the Zone of Empowerment, where you can access awareness, clarity, confidence, and your FREE will.

Discovering Your True Needs

You may discover that you are afraid to ask for more TLC or time to connect because you are afraid of rejection. You may learn that deep down you believe you don’t “deserve space for yourself” or that it is a “selfish request.” You may find that you feel you “shouldn’t need help around the house” or with the kids because you believe it’s your responsibility to handle it all.

We all have ideas, stories, and beliefs that we have inherited from our parents and that the culture continues to support, so don’t sweat it. It’s perfectly normal. It’s just not helpful and keeps you trapped in a loop of frustration and disempowerment, which is no fun for anyone!

Follow the Breadcrumbs

The good news is there are clues to help you become more aware. You simply need to follow the breadcrumbs.

Understanding what core fear is holding you back is the first breadcrumb you need to begin to shift yourself so that you can feel empowered to create the outcomes you most desire in your life.

Start following the breadcrumbs to self-awareness and personal empowerment. I have a simple tool that can help you begin this journey. Click here to get started and step into your true power today.

in trust and gratitude,

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher

PS: Tune in next week when I share what happens when you don’t trust yourself..Hint you may experience delusion, dizziness and drama. 😫