Do You Feel Free in Your Relationships?
July 9, 2023
This past week our country celebrated ‘freedom’ so this theme has been on my mind this week. I’ve been asking what does it really mean to be free in my life and relationships?
The dictionary defines freedom as: the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.
One way I notice that I am not free is that I often do not feel free to say no to the people I love when they make a request of me.
Can I have a ride? Would you do me a favor? Will you make dinner? Can I talk to you about something right now? Can you help me move? Will you pick me up from the airport?
No matter what the request, I notice I tend to say yes almost 100% of the time without really checking in with myself
It is as if no isn’t even an option in my mind.
I love and adore my “people:” family, friends, and my clients, so when a request comes my way, I naturally want those I love to have what they want and need. If I can facilitate that, I am happy to do so.
The problem is a yes for someone else, may not always be what is best for me in the moment.
Learning to say no has been a deep practice in self-awareness, love, and ultimately freedom.
Here is how it works.
When someone makes a request of me, I have introduced a practice of pausing before replying.
I may say, “no” right away, or I may say, “I need some time to think about it.”
Then, I take a minute to check in with my body. I notice sensations, thoughts, and emotions as I sit with said request.
If I get to a ‘yes’ after I sit with myself for a moment, I let the person know, and away we go. If my “no” still stands, then I stick with my no and let myself feel the predictable discomfort that comes with disappointing someone I love and care about.
(Which is a whole other practice btw:-)
Allowing myself to say no before saying yes has become an invitation to freedom for me.
Do you feel free to say no to those you love?
True freedom is only available when you can speak your truth in your relationships.
I invite you this week to notice when you might be overriding your no to please someone you love.
Maybe put yourself on a no diet for a day or two and see what it feels like.
What if saying no, was a gift for both of you?
Give it a try and lmk how it worked out for you.
In trust and gratitude,
Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher
“Working with Annmarie was a liberating experience. Not only did I learn how to use my body as a guiding tool to go within, but I also became more familiar with a part of me that I was never taught to recognize – my physical language. Thank you, Annmarie, for your wisdom, guidance, kindness, and stillness. Through your questions, I was able to find the answers within for what I needed.“
CARMELLA S. WHITEHEAD
If you are interested in going just a bit deeper, I would be so thrilled to help! Sign up here for a FREE introductory coaching session.
Want to plant a seed of trust in a little one’s life? Grab a signed copy of Little Seeds Journey to set them on the path.
Start the school year off intentionally. With a purchase of an autographed copy of Little Seeds Journey, get a FREE Planting seeds starter kit. Plant a seed, set an intention and watch it grow together. PURCHASE HERE
Follow Little Seeds Journey on IG @littleseedsjourney and watch my seed grow!
