Part 2: Lessons from Rejection and Resistance
March 26, 2023
Not too long ago someone I love deeply walked out the door of my life without saying goodbye and didn’t look back.
No note, no text, no phone call. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.
At first I was shocked, no, actually astonished given the depth of our relationship. My mind could just not wrap itself around what was happening?????? (this is called resistance to what is!)
“They will be back..just you wait and see.” was what my mind used to comfort me and soothe my aching heart.
Soon after, I became angry. Like…. really angry and terrifically judgmental.
“How dare they do this! After all I’ve done?” Yadyadayada (another lame attempt at distracting myself and resisting what is)
More time went by and the sun rose and set upon my busy life and in the background there was this “thing” always looming.
After the shock and anger wore off it left room for what was truly lying beneath it all. My utter sadness and deep heartbreak.
No more resistance, just awareness of what is actually here now. What actually would have come through months earlier had I been open and available for it, which I obviously was not.
And then my phone rang.
We spoke, we cried. I shared my unedited truth. And today we continue to rebuild our relationship and trust slowly, honestly and authentically.
Something new and unexpected is arising.
Love is still there in the shadows and I realized that I simply need to let the light in again.
What I was reminded of in these moments, is that when I choose resistance, when I choose to push against what is occuring, I reliably experience the suffering of separation. Not necessarily from ‘someone’, but ultimately from my own heart that sometimes breaks when life doesn’t go as expected. However, when I find myself in a state of acceptance something magical inevitably arises.
Each and everyday I continue to learn on this journey from the contraction of fear and control to the expansions into unconditional love and acceptance that we are always in a state of choosing. Every single moment we choose to allow or resist what is.
What we choose determines our experience.
I chose to suffer, not because this person walked out of my life, but because I resisted the heartbreak I experienced and replaced it with shock and anger, which took up too much space for the love, light and sadness to flow through.
The thing is we can run but we cannot hide from the inevitable heartbreak that comes with opening our hearts to another human being.
When you change your relationship to yourself, you step into your power, where all meaningful transformation takes place.
As I said last week, The most important relationship you can master in your life is the one with yourself. I am committed to it and I hope you will join me on the journey.
If you are parenting human beings, in a relationship with another human being or part of any family system or organization that involves relating to other human beings my hope is that what I share with you is in service to supporting you in finding deep connection with yourself and of course with those you love.
I offer you this in service of true freedom, liberation and unconditional love.
As a gift to you I am offering a FREE monthly sanga the first Sunday of each month beginning Sunday, April 2nd at 8am. I will lead a guided meditation followed by Q & A. Register here. I look forward to seeing you there..
Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher