What are you holding onto?

April 23, 2023

I have a very tight and full schedule today. (writing this blog was not on my to-do list however)

In my schedule I had 40 minutes between meetings to get a project done.

When I sat down to tackle my to-do list, I froze. I couldn’t DO anything. My mind was blank.

I could feel my jaw clench, and my body grow more tense and hear a very loud demanding thought rise up saying: 

“You don’t have time to mess around!  Get going! You’ve got a lot to do!”  (As you might imagine, It btw was not a friendly voice or tone.)

My body began to tighten and my breath quickened and my mind continued its familiar panicky thoughts.

I took a moment to pause and sip my tea, look out my window and take a deep breath. 

In the next moment, I could feel my chest tighten and my heart crack open a little bit and as I put my attention on that tiny crack, it broke open even more.

Tears began to flow.

And I began to FEEL.

I didn’t realize I was holding on to some sadness.  I was too busy with my to do list to notice.

So I sat for a few moments letting the tears flow and all the related stories go.

There was nothing more to say or do. This was simply a time to BE.

In that moment I was reminded that this is what it means to be in flow and what it looks like to  trust the moment. My body had been trying to signal me for days.  I had just been too busy and distracted to pay attention.

So often we try to push past and through what is actually here now, when what is really wanting to be felt, acknowledged, seen and presenced gets ignored and replaced with our busy to-do lists.

What if all you needed to do was to be with what is occurring in your experience in any given moment?

I let myself sit with my sadness until there were no more tears, and could feel my chest soften and my breath open up once again. 

Ironically, It only took a few minutes.

And next thing you know, I found myself in flow writing this to you, and soon tackling the rest of my to-do list with ease.

No matter how much I know….I can still find myself forgetting from time to time how friendly the universe is and what a helpful tool my body can be when I pay attention. Everything is always happening for me.

Is there something getting in your way of being in flow?

Maybe you’d like to play a quick game with me to make some space in your life.

Find a small object and place it in your hand and sit in a moment of stillness.

Start by closing your eyes and asking yourself the question: What am I holding onto?

Just listen for what arises.

Maybe you are holding onto a dream, a vision, a hope, an idea, your anger, or sadness, perhaps fear, or the need to be right, a worry, your judgment (or 2 or 3!) a control plan, your tight schedule, a relationship, or a job that is not serving you.

Simply watch what arises in your awareness as you hold tight to this small object in your hand and trust what comes up.

Take a few more deep breaths as you continue to grip this object and pay attention to where you notice tension in your body, making sure not to judge this experience. Let it be a noticing game.

On your next exhale, slowly begin to open the palm of your hand and release the object.

Now ask yourself: What am I willing to let go of?

Notice what happens in your body and mind as you do this and notice the space you have created when the palm of your hand is open and you release the object.

With an open palm, you are now available to receive. Can you feel the difference?

Finally, ask yourself the question: What am I making room for?

Open your hand, heart and mind as you listen.

What do you hear? Remember to trust what arises without questioning it.

For now, there is nothing you necessarily need to DO other than to be aware. Trust that the time to act will come naturally when it is in flow for you. However, you may feel called to jot these thoughts in a journal or in the notes on your phone just to record them in time. (Journaling can also be a great practice of letting go.)

Remember, when you hold on too tightly you cannot possibly be open to all the wonder and opportunities always available to you. Its not always easy to let go, but I invite you to have the courage to try this week and see what goodies come forward.

Life gets hard when we hold on too tightly!! (and we create painful calluses!!) 

This week I invite you to use the gift of your relationships as a pretty reliable mirror to show you what it is you are holding on too tightly too.

Whether you are navigating a challenging parenting issue, partnership conflict or a tricky relationship in your workplace, finding freedom always starts within…because the most important relationship we will ever have is the one we have with ourselves.

Self – Awareness is the key and often letting go is the first step on the path to you freedom.

PS: It takes COURAGE to let go. Join me in The Meditation Salon the first Sunday of every month to practice together planting seeds of unconditional love. This month we have been practicing cultivating courage. You can catch up anytime at this link. Can’t wait to be with you!

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher