“Omg, “I’ve become my mother.“

May 8, 2022

Honoring your mother’s imperfections.

Do you remember promising yourself that you would never do ‘that thing’ that your mother did when you began your parenting journey? Then suddenly, despite your best intentions, you find yourself doing ‘that thing’! 

You inherit more than your good looks from your mother. Like it or not, it’s inevitable that you inherit her thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. 

And no matter how much you intend to NOT do ‘the thing’, you will find yourself repeating those pesky patterns. 

Why? Because first and foremost you are a human being. 

Second, you have been raised by another human being who was raised by another human being and so on. We watch and mimic one another and no matter how hard we think something needs to change, unless we unravel it at the root, we will find ourselves repeating unwanted behaviors unconsciously.

Such is the miracle of mirror neurons.

Of course, we welcome the qualities we like or judge them as good that we have inherited from our mothers and grandmothers. But we resist what we don’t like and judge as bad or wrong.

You’ve heard me say it a million times:  What you resist persists.

The real trick to shifting the patterns you’ve inherited from your mother that you resist is to welcome the behavior with love. When you learn to welcome it all without judgment, you become a space of unconditional love.

Now of course this is easier said than done. So I would like to offer you an opportunity to practice with me today.

This week I am inviting you to play the Welcoming Game (click here) with me.

1. Start by closing your eyes and call to mind one habit you have inherited from your mother that you would like to change.
2. Think about the last time you engaged in that behavior or did ‘that thing.’
3. Notice how your body feels when that memory comes to mind.
4. Notice the judgments that follow.
5. Take a deep intentional breath imagining your heart opening and expanding. 
6. Exhale the air out imagining the judgments floating away on a cloud.
7. Continue this practice for a few minutes
8. Continue breathing and BEING in this expanded space of awareness for just a few more breaths.
9. When you feel ready, open your eyes and come back to the space between us.

Rinse, wash and repeat for as long as you need to feel a release.

Unconditional love is what mothering is truly all about. Our job is to LOVE unconditionally, but that does not begin and end with our kids. When we start in our hearts and learn to welcome it all, we step into a powerful and expanded place of acceptance where real love lives.

If we truly want to love others unconditionally we must first learn to love ourselves unconditionally.

To “mother” means many things, but nowhere does it say to be perfect.

Here’s to welcoming all the imperfections on your mothering journey.

To parenting authentically and not perfectly,

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher