I’d Rather Be Positive

February 27, 2022

I got really sick yesterday afternoon. Something just hit me and naturally, despite the fact that I had coronavirus in early January, I immediately took a Covid test.

It was negative and I instantly noticed I was disappointed. Strange, yes?

I quickly realized that I really don’t like the unknown. 

I prefer certainty. 

I like to know what is going to happen, how it will happen, and when it will happen. I like a plan.

In January when I tested positive for the novel coronavirus, while I was not happy to be sick, I felt some sense of comfort. 

For starters, I could stop running from this crazy virus, and most importantly there was a specific formula to navigate it.

Mask, quarantine for 5 days, and rest.

I knew what to do, how long this would last, and how to manage it.

My mind could relax knowing the plan.

Last night after I tested negative, I noticed I became stressed and my mind began to think it’s way through the stress.

• • • Well, wait, WHAT is this then?
    • How long will I feel this way?
    • Am I contagious?
    • Should I cancel my day tomorrow?
    • Where did I get this?
    • What if I can’t travel this weekend?

There were so many unknowns.

And then it hit me.

There I go again trying to control what is out of my control.

I like to be positive about all things in life, especially parenting. 

• • • • Positive I am right.
      • Positive my kids are going to be okay in life.
      • Positive I know how to show them the way.
      • Positive I know better than they do.

What is the trouble with being positive as parents? 

Being positive locks out possibility disconnects you from your intuition, keeps you inflexible and lacking creativity.  Being positive prevents you from looking for new possibilities and ultimately from seeing clearly. 

As a parent when you are positive that your kids…

• • • • should get that degree
      • shouldn’t be shy
      • should be nice
      • should be happy
      • shouldn’t smoke weed 
      • shouldn’t fail
      • should study piano

You get stuck in righteousness and cut yourself and your kids off from the infinite possibilities available. When you get stuck in knowing, you also rob your kids of connecting to their own intuition and ability to trust themselves.

Being positive makes you a control freak.

In the land of the unknown, you remain open, curious, and committed to learning something new – just like a child exploring the garden for the first time in a state of wonder.

And let’s be honest, being in the land of the unknown as a parent sounds a bit nutty. I can hear you thinking.

It’s my job to KNOW! 

I get it. I’ve been on that train. 

And the truth is, the only thing you know for sure is that you cannot really know anything for sure.

The best you can do is do your best in all the moments and trust the outcome. 

And that is one thing I am positive about.

This week I invite you to question everything you believe you are positive about and begin to get curious about all the other possibilities out there when you enter the land of wonder.

If you are feeling curious about how to get curious, schedule a complimentary call (HERE) with me to learn more.

To parenting authentically and not perfectly,

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher