Can’t get your kids activated, motivated or inspired?

January 30, 2022

A couple I was working with was frustrated with one another and their 23-year-old daughter’s lack of motivation to get a job after graduating college and everyone was at their wit’s end. 

If you have kids of any age, you know how frustrating it is when you can’t get them to take action.

Am I willing to shift?

Which is exactly what I asked mom and dad in our recent coaching session.

I asked mom and dad:

• • • • Are you willing to stop paying for her cell phone? 
      • Are you willing to have her move out?
      • Are you willing to charge her room and board?
      • Are you willing to have her contribute to meal prep or grocery shopping?

They looked closely and realized that their daughter was not the whole problem here.  

They really wanted their daughter to grow more independent, but deep down they were afraid and unwilling to change their behaviors to create the outcome they said they most wanted for their daughter, independence.

They were actually unconsciously sabotaging that very outcome by being unwilling to hold boundaries and create clear agreements with their daughter.

Realizing this was a game-changer for this couple. They could now see clearly that their unwillingness was in fact part of the problem.

Knowing the difference between wanting and willingness as a parent is a powerful question to ask yourself on the path to being a more conscious parent.

My friend and week three co-facilitator Gina Urzi and I talked briefly about her path to learning to be willing to hold boundaries in her marriage and family.

You too can use this simple question “Am I willing to shift?” to become radically honest with yourself so that you can choose to shift from wanting to willing in all your parenting moments.

While this is simple it is not always easy and takes practice to reliably answer this question. We are masters at fooling ourselves.

However, I’ve got just what you need.

In my upcoming course Drop Family Drama this is the 3rd of the 4 big questions we explore together.

My Drop Family Drama e-course is designed to shift unhealthy disempowering patterns that create conflict and disconnection in families and help develop healthy empowering dynamics, resulting in authentic, lasting conscious relationships with our kids.

Starting on February 8th, for 5 weeks, we will explore the 4 key questions of conscious parenting in a live playful, interactive training.

Each of the questions is designed to support you in becoming radically self-aware, or more conscious, in all your parenting moments, and empower you to make meaningful, sustainable, and impactful shifts that bring you closer to your true nature and your family.

When I was first introduced to these questions and tools I felt like I met myself for the first time in my life, that I truly got to know myself more deeply, cultivate a greater sense of self-acceptance, and really understand how to shift disempowering lifelong patterns so that I felt more connected to myself and my family.

I could not be more excited to share with you how this simple question has changed my life and all my relationships. I hope to see you on February 8th!

And, next time you can’t get your kids to do what you want or what you think is best for them, I dare you to ask yourself this same simple question. 

Am I willing to shift?

Let me know how it goes for you!

To parenting authentically and not perfectly,

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher