What to do (or NOT to do) when your kid has a meltdown

December 5, 2021

My youngest hit “send” on her final college application just as the server crashed and the screen read “error.”

She promptly melted down.

There was some screaming, stomping, and blaming me (of course) AND a fair amount of panicking.

Guess what I did?

NOT A THING! 

I didn’t try to solve the “problem,” or use it as an opportunity to remind her she could’ve taken care of it a week earlier rather than wait until the last minute. I didn’t tell her not to worry about it,or even that it will all work out in the end.

Why? Because I wasn’t afraid.  

• • • • I wasn’t afraid of her meltdown.
      • I wasn’t afraid that she might not get into college (or more importantly, her preferred college).
      • I wasn’t afraid of her yelling, screaming, stomping or blaming.
      • I wasn’t afraid of what other parents or the school would think of my lack of involvement. 

You’ve heard the expression by Ron Hall: “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

I like to say, “If Mama is stressed, anxious or afraid, everyone else is too.”

Your energy matters, and taking responsibility for it is the key to reducing stress and drama in your family.

After years of practice and a whole host of tools, I’ve learned to let go of the parenting fears that cause my stress, and guess what: I found something magical on the other side!

I found that there is far less stress and drama and far more connection, ease, and flow in my life.

It didn’t happen overnight, and I didn’t simply flip a switch and change my mind.

I had to learn how to let go of my parenting fears so that I could be a space and place for peace, calm and connection when my kids are melting down around me. I learned that being in that space invites my kids to be there too.

It’s so easy to get caught up in your kids’ stress and anxieties, especially when the stakes feel high. But you can learn to resist the pull and stay centered in your own power. You can learn how to take things down a notch when life around you feels out of control. The key is awareness and a whole lot of practice.

Unfortunately cultivating self-awareness is not a skill you’ve been taught. None of us have.

Fortunately, it is never too late.

It took me three kids and a bunch of years to figure it out, but “by George, I think I’ve got it!” and I want to share what I’ve learned with you. It has not only changed my relationship with my kids, it has changed ALL my relationships. Most importantly, it has changed my relationship with myself.

Learning to recognize the triggers that send me into the land of fear and stress, and learning how to navigate them when they arise, has been a game changer for me. It all started with my awareness.

I know it sounds stupid-simple but it’s true.

And this holiday season, I want you to have the gift of presence too.

While I am working on a few exciting offers for January 2022 and a big idea in February 2022, I don’t want you to have to wait to find your peace and joy.

I have a few coaching spots open this month if you are ready to create more inner peace and joy. You can schedule that HERE.

In the meantime, enjoy the moments.

With gratitude,

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher