I didn’t surrender, I collapsed.

November 14, 2021

Learning to let go after my marriage ended (you can read about that HERE) is the single hardest lesson I continue to learn. 😂

I was raised to believe that the VERY best thing for children is to raise them in a home with both mom and dad.

I could NOT imagine raising my children in a “broken” home, and I hated the idea of being divorced. I was terrified and caught up in a cycle of fear. 

My conditioned beliefs were getting in the way of my ability to see clearly.

What truths were you raised to believe?

Because I believed deep in my soul that divorce was not an option for my family, I was attached to one outcome and one outcome only: making my marriage work. 

I wasn’t open, curious, or committed to learning. I wasn’t interested in expanding or evolving.

I was only focused on making my marriage work.

Getting a divorce was not what I wanted to happen; however, the universe had very different plans for me.

After years of resistance and suffering trying to hold on to my marriage, I finally let go, not because I was seeing clearly, but because I had no more fight left in me. 

I didn’t surrender, I collapsed.

While being raised in a divorced family was not ideal, my kids are just fine–even thriving. 

Today, I can see that it is not a “fact” that my kids would’ve been better off if we had stayed married. That is a story I made up based on my conditioning. 

Back then, I was attached to being right:  In my mind, I had to stay married to keep my kids happy and healthy.

I wasn’t open to what else might be possible.

When we are attached to an outcome, we are stuck, and not open to seeing all the possibilities.

Years ago, someone asked me, “What if getting a divorce is the BEST option for you, your ex, and your kids?”

I never really considered that as a possibility.

At that moment my mind began to open and expand. I started to see how it could possibly be true that it might be the best option, even though it was not the one I preferred or at least not the worst option!

As my mind began to soften, so did my heart. And it became easier to let go. 

Letting go is easy when you decide to, and sometimes letting go of what we have been taught to believe is the key to our freedom.

What have you been taught to believe is true without exploring the opposite?

It is NOT easy to let go, surrender, or try on new possibilities, but I invite you to give it a try and see what you find.  You may be surprised. 

And if you’d like a little support. I am right here. 👇

Schedule your complimentary coaching session today.

With gratitude,

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher