Ever have a big parenting decision to make?

October 24, 2021

If you had a 17-year-old daughter who wanted to drive across 3 states for 6 hours to visit her boyfriend at college, would you let her?

This was the dilemma I faced the other day with my daughter.  

I was totally uncomfortable with her driving alone and had a fair amount of resistance to the idea.

My head said, “Absolutely NOT!  Are you crazy!”  I quickly scanned my brain for every possible disaster that could occur from flat tires to car jacking to…. well you name it, I imagined it.

I asked my husband what he thought. 

I asked her dad what he thought. 

I asked a few trusted friends and got a mixed bag of advice. Some had no problem at all with it and some thought I was insane to even consider it. 

After getting everyone else’s opinion, I was left with the same lack of clarity.

I could not get past my crazy fears about what could happen. I was stuck on how to respond to her request and time was ticking.

I had a difficult decision to make. Eenie meenie miny moe would not cut it on this one. 

If I continued to use only my head to make a decision about my daughter’s road trip, I knew I would continue to find myself on the merry-go-round of fear. I knew I needed to involve my whole body if I was going to trust my decision.

When you’re faced with a big parenting decision, here are steps to follow so you can use your intuition and respond from a place of trust. 

Step 1. Get still and quiet the noise

Created some space to be quiet and still and just breathe. When I did this, I was available to observe all my crazy mixed up thoughts and everyones wants, needs and opinions and let them spin around until things began to slow down. 

Step 2. Tune into your body

Notice your physical sensations. When I tuned into my physical state, I noticed my body felt relaxed and at ease, my breath was moving easily and my heart felt open. I was not constricted. 

Step 3. Discover where the fear is coming from

When I realized my fear was only coming from my imagination, (my thoughts and ideas) I saw that I didn’t have any real issue other than a fear of what COULD possibly happen. I know that I cannot protect her from every possible danger in life and then my decision became clear.  

Now I need to say that while I trusted the decision to let her drive, this did not by the way, mean I was any less worried or concerned. My fear was still there. However, it gave me an opportunity to be honest with her and share my concerns openly so we could create a plan that helped me relax my worried mama head and still allow her to have the freedom to go.

In over 24 years of parenting, I’ve learned that what happens in your head is much scarier than reality.

When you have a process to move out of your head and into your body, you get to know and understand yourself more deeply, communicate to others more clearly and most importantly model authenticity.

If you’d like to practice getting out of your head and into your body to make decisions you can trust, grab my FREE check in meditation.  It’s my go anywhere guide for making big and small life decisions and I know you’ll love it too.

With gratitude,

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher