How to Stop Draining Yourself

July 14, 2024

In motherhood you are constantly pulled in 20 directions. In order to truly be free however, you must master the ability to say no.

This one was so hard for me, because I believed I was supposed to be able to ‘do it all’. Everyone else seemed to be doing it all and doing it all well, so why couldn’t I?

I routinely found myself drained, exhausted, frustrated, overwhelmed and simply disconnected from my truest self. I lacked energy and excitement and felt a lot like a robot moving through life always doing what I thought I was supposed to be doing, but rarely doing what I wanted to be doing.

I was doing so many things that I didn’t want to do because…

I was #1 taught certain things about my role as a woman and a mother and #2 I was believing things like:

1. I Must Be Perfect: When you believe that everything must be flawless, it creates constant stress and pressure.
2. My Worth is Tied to My Productivity: When you equate your self-worth with how much you accomplish each day it is hard to rest and take time for yourself.
3. I Should Always Put Others First: When you prioritize others’ needs above your own it can lead to neglecting your self-care and well-being.
4. It’s Selfish to Ask for Help: When you believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness or selfishness it prevents you from seeking the support you need.
5. I Need to Do It All: When you feel the pressure to juggle all household responsibilities, plus work without delegating it can lead to burnout and frustration.
6. I Must Always Be Available: When you feel that you must always be on call for everyone in your family  it can keep you from setting healthy boundaries.
7. I Can’t Afford to Fail: When you have the fear of making mistakes or failing it can keep you from trying something new or making necessary changes.
8. What Will Others Think?: When you worry excessively about others’ opinions it can drive you to make decisions based on societal expectations rather than your own needs and desires.
9. Rest is a Waste of Time: When you believe that resting or taking time off is unproductive it will  prevent you from recharging and maintaining your mental, physical and emotional health.
10. I Must Keep Everyone Happy: When you are trying to ensure everyone’s happiness at all times it will lead to neglecting your own emotional needs.
11. It’s My Responsibility to Fix Everything: When you believe that you must solve all family issues it can lead to taking on too much and feeling overwhelmed.
12. I Shouldn’t Have Personal Goals: When you believe that personal aspirations are less important than your family, it completely hijacks personal growth and fulfillment.
13. I’m Not Doing Enough: When you believe you are not doing enough, you create a constant feeling of inadequacy, and no matter how much you do, it can drive you to overwork and overlook what you are doing.

I know you are nodding your head like crazy reading this list, because I am, and so many of you have already told me so.

The good news is that by becoming aware of and challenging and reframing these deeply embedded unconscious beliefs, you will have more time & energy, find more balance, create more space, experience more fulfillment and greater freedom in all your relationships and your life.

Who doesn’t want that?!

Oh and bonus, you are being a fantastic role model for your family and way more available for your significant other.

in trust and gratitude,

Annmarie Chereso
Author, Speaker, Coach, & Meditation Teacher